Here's To My Friends (And My Past Lives)

You know what? Sometimes I don't want to talk about poo, childproofing, pre-schools, sleep training, time-outs or anything of or pertaining to what has become my present identity. Sue me. Sometimes I like to revert back to the immature and irresponsible actress, the sexy single gal, or the pre-mom wanna be hipster do-gooder for humanity. Don't get me wrong, I am practically married to my mom friends, we have jokingly referred to each other as our wives and co-parents and another time I will explain how my love for them is nothing short of a girl-crush. For now, I want to talk about my non-mom, pre-mom, even male,  friends.  People who have absolutely nothing to do with or even interested in anything child related.

Sometimes a gal needs to remember where she came from, right? That's what these friends are for. Granted they don't always understand why you are asleep at 8:30 or why you have to rush home for a "crib nap" but they are the ones who were with you before your life changed so drastically. They make up the rings of your tree's life, if your life were a tree stump. I guess that doesn't sound as poetic as I was hoping. But you get the point. I live vicariously through them, and sometimes they through me (I am so hoping here...) and I love hearing their stories, triumphs and successes.

Matthew and I met over 10 years ago when we were both working nights as telemarketers- sorry - telefundraisers- to earn extra cash.  Matthew now works for a glamorous beauty magazine as, well I still don't know exactly what he does, but he says it's just like Ugly Betty and he hooks me up with various Chanel, Dior, and Hermes goodies. These are some of my prized possessions, besides of course the egg carton caterpillar my son made for me today. He reminds me, nay advises me, what movies are out, takes me to the opera or the New York Film Festival; things I have a vague recollection of enjoying in a past life. Point is, with Matthew I feel like the Holly Golightly I once was. If I need to laugh or cry I can call him and just like that he can take away my "mean reds." I love Matthew, especially as I take a whiff of the latest Pucci perfume he knows I don't necessarily need or want but must own just to have a bit of the ol' girl on my dresser.

Then there are my single lady friends. Anna and Allison. I do love hearing about their dates and fancy dinners. I don't mind hearing them complain that they are so tired because they were out until 4 am (not because they were cleaning puke out of crib slats at 4 am). Anna is a registered nurse practitioner and was with me through labor and practically caught my son when he was born. Having worked in Labor and Delivery she is the one who gave me all of my infant advice. I have known her since I was six. She currently works with a poorer population as their health care practitioner but it seems more like a health educator based on the sad stories she tells me. She also always knows the hottest places to go to and actually goes to them. She dresses up and has cool outfits for such nights. I used to do that too. Sigh. Currently she is selling her West Village apartment and moving to New Hampshire, she is actually following her dreams and creating her own happiness. It is fun to hear about someone's life adverntures when your latest adventure is discovering that different brands of sippy cup tops are interchangeable.

Allison was one of my co-trouble makers in college. We were so different then. But now, she reminds me why we went to drama school, not just to perform but to create and we can move others in the process. While I do revel in her latest dating drama (he's HOW OLD?!) I love to hear about Allison's creative triumphs. Her current film, A Walk To Beautiful, turns the spotlight on obstetric fistula, a devastating condition created by prolonged labor and childbirth, in Ethiopia, where she has spent time not just filming this documentary but gone back as a missionary. The film has recently won critical acclaim and is about to be released, but more importantly is helping these nearly forgotten women heal from a humiliating and debilitating condition. Anna and Allison are doing the kind of work I wish I could be doing to help others and having fun in the process. Plus, they make their own money and get to spend it on themselves and don't have to consult a husband or worry about feeding a kid and they look fabulous doing it!  Of course they love my boy, but with them, it's not all about the boy. And I like that.

Rozie is an actress, yes, but to me she is someone who calms and comforts me. She is a licensed Reiki practitioner and is one of the most generous souls and funniest people I know. Rozie and I met on tour as actors in a show and we were roommates. We know things about each other that normal people shouldn't know about each other. She is one of my most thoughtful friends. If I have a cold on Monday, I will get a call or an email on Tuesday asking me how I feel. If I had a fight with my husband six months ago, she will remember and remind me not to repeat my mistakes. Well versed in self-help and healing, she passes her knowledge on to me and helps me keep things in perspective.

Mark makes me laugh and has a pretty exciting life as a comedian. He is married, so he does understand about married life and marital relationships.One he used to be "the weird kid" in school, painfully shy, and is now living in the Paramus, NJ Ikea for the sake of social comedy. I can tell him the slightest most boring detail of my life and with genuine enthusiasm will be positive and supportive. Mark: "What's new, Allie?"  Me: "Nothing, went to the park with the boy" Mark:"WOW! THAT'S FANTASTIC, YOU ARE SO LUCKY! HE IS AWESOME!" It's nice to have a friend like that. Plus his wife is beautiful and loves kids, so hanging out with them is just plain sunshine. Mark and Rozie will go far in their careers- one that I too would have wanted had I not decided to opt for living outside of my parents home and having health insurance. Mark and Rozie remind me that you can be successful AND good and while they also listen to my mom-antics, they remind me of ME.

At the end of the day, I would not trade my life, career, or looks with anyone. I go to bed with a boy who says "Mami, grande kiss, nice Mami" and  wake up to a doting and handsome husband who has the kid fed, coffee made and dishes done before starting his grueling 19  hour day as an attorney. Who could want anything more?