Growing Up

If you had asked me three years ago as I planned my wedding if I felt like an adult, the answer would have been no.  I was receiving all of these adult gifts from my registry for my home.  At the time, we were living in a loft style apartment with a kitchen tucked into one nook.  It had a mini stove, three cabinets and a sink the same size as one you might find in an elementary school bathroom.  I felt like an adult imposter.

Five months later when I became pregnant I still did not feel like an adult.  I started to feel like one as I viewed apartments to buy.  And once we closed on a new place I felt like I was playing house versus actually having a house.  My wedding china remained in storage in my dad's basement.  Of course there were occasional moments when I felt more mature than others, like the time I yelled at the movers for not completing our move before the condo hours prohibited any work.  But then I went back to me, a 28 year old pregnant newlywed.  

One kid is a fluke. You can still be immature with one kid.  Hey, Courtney Love has a child.  Two kids however feels like the real deal.  Contrary to the myths, two kids is not triple the work of one, but it is still plenty consuming.  

It was when I was six months pregnant with #2, that I began to view myself as an adult.  My mom called to tell me she was sick in the hospital in India and that I should not tell anyone.  As I began to manage her health care, her businesses, my family and my business that I said goodbye to my youth. 

After she passed away I felt like a child, an orphan.  Abandoned and barely functioning.  But there were bills to pay and tax returns to file so I went through the motions and retreated to mourning at home.

Once my son was born, the pain dulled and my responsibilities increased exponentially, I remember my mom's expression, "it's not a dress rehearsal."  I did not have time to continue mourning.  I'm starting to feel on top of my game, taking care of the kids, the house, the businesses.  Now that I have memorized albums of nursery rhymes, can make funny faces and type at the same time, and can have a serious business call while feeding my newborn, I feel like an adult.  Good thing I had my crazy youth to get all of the partying and irresponsibility out of my system.  

Helen P has been blogging before she became an adult at Milf Alert and I Want a Book Deal