If It Were Up To "God", I Wouldn't Be Married Right Now

June 12, 2009 will mark the 42 anniversary of the Loving vs. Virginia Supreme Court case that legalized, throughout the country, the marriage between interracial couples.  My family and I will be there joining in on the celebrations in NYC this coming Sunday.

I spoke to my husband about the event and he seemed incredibly confused.  I'm sure they taught this in school, at least I hope they did (I'm not sure because I was studying abroad for many years), however, like most things, if you don't personalize them or relate to them, you simply forget about them or don't pay attention.

"I didn't know it was ever illegal for couples like us to marry."

"Yes, honey.  Only 3 years before my birth was it ok."

"Wow, I feel like such a rebel now!"

And it was funny.  A little.  I looked up the case for him and read excerpts of the ruling being passed down by the lower court judge, Leon Bazile, as he sentenced Mildred Jeter, a woman of both African and Native American descent, and her husband, Richard Perry Loving, a white man, to years in prison for violating the Racial Integrity Act.  He stated the following:

"Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix."

And there He was, God, according to Man, telling those before me: my parents, my uncles and aunts, my grandparents, that they could only marry their own kind, because it is "what was intended". It was only months before the Supreme Court case that the Roman Catholic Church joined the struggle to allow interracial couples to marry, and it wasn't till 1966 that the Presbyterian Church and the Unitarian Universal Association spoke out against such rulings as well (the case against the Lovings had begun in 1959).

Now, I am not here to argue against religion, nor am I here to debate faith.  However, I am here to point out why the debate about what God intended and people's right to marry whom they choose should not, ever, never, ever be bro ught together as it is when making the argument against, say, Same Sex Marriage, for example, because Man doesn't know what God intended, except what another man wrote in the bible as he interpreted it, with a bit of his own ideologies and personal convictions sprinkled into it, and if it were for all these things that Man says God meant or never meant to happen, I would not have been allowed to marry the love of my life, and had the beautiful children that I do.

Chances are, actually, that had it been for what Man said God's intentions were, I would probably be someone's slave right now too, though apparently, according to the bible, a nicely treated slave, unless I over stepped. There was a time when those who believed that we shouldn't be married were the majority, thus the laws and bans and such; but because of the resilience of those like the Lovings who stood up for their love and what they believed in, this majority was questioned and the injustices of it all were torn apart.  The world didn't crumble.  Armageddon did not happen.  Children and families were not destroyed or broken, nor the values of what marriage is vanished or tainted.  I look forward to seeing this shift again as more and more people reject these ideologies imposed upon them and challenge the laws, choosing instead to love and form families and fight for the same rights I enjoy.

So on Sunday, I will stand in celebration and appreciation of those who not only defied the law as they were written, but also God's intention as they were interpreted.  I will stand in celebration, not only of my interracial love, but also for those who protested and rallied and spoke against intolerance and risked their own freedoms and lives, so that I could stand next to my white husband, hand in hand, in love, openly and freely without fear of persecution not only because of the color of our skins, but because we fell in love with one another, when not even 50 yrs ago there were people who said it was wrong.

And I have met and had incredible conversations with those out there who still think that our love is wrong, that we are violating what God intended to be the natural order of things, and it is during those encounters that I stop and say proudly to myself, "I feel like such a rebel."  May those who choose to love and commit their lives to another be allowed to do so freely, without persecution or judgement.  For it is my belief that our purpose is to spread love and happiness in many ways, but mainly through the example of it in our own lives. For it is through us that our children learn how they see the world. Hate breeds hate, as does ignorance. Knowledge is power and love can and always will, despite any opposition, conquer all.

This is an original NYC Moms Blog post. Carol will share her Adventures at the Loving Day Flagship Celebration;on her blog, The Adventures of an NYC Mama