School Daze

The last two weeks have been filled with lots of tears. Mostly joyful and signaling new beginnings, but exhausting nonetheless. It started with my daughter's first dance recital—at the Brooklyn Museum! Two days later it was her first piano recital at school, immediately followed by her kindergarten graduation. All the stuff good memories are made of, yet reminders that the little girl born six years ago is growing up.

I hadn't expected Michael Jackson's death to affect me so deeply, and perhaps had it not happened on the eve of Isabella's final day in kindergarten, it would've been different. Both events signaled the end of an era so to speak. I now get why my husband was in a funk when George Harrison died. Closer to my mom's age than mine, he grew up with the Beatles. Well MJ was one of the big icons of my youth.

I've been struggling with the reality that I turned 35, and while it doesn't sound old, it does sounds quite grown up. I have two kids, a career and a husband. That means I'm an adult, right? My closest friend whom I met on the second day of high school often say we still feel so young. Jackson's passing feels like the door is really closed on that part of my story.

And then there was the last day of kindergarten. As I peered through the classroom window and watched Mlle. Bouteillion wave one final au revoir, I couldn't control the tears that streamed down my cheeks. My little girl had been forever changed during this past school year. She learned to read, write and had the foundation for counting currency laid. Six may as well be 16. First grade feels like it'll be college. No more drop off at the classroom door—parents are relegated to a kiss and wave in the schoolyard.

Just writing this post, I realize it'll all seem different with the dawn of a new day tomorrow. For now, though, I'm letting myself have my moment of silence. Reflection is good. It reminds me of all that has passed, and thankful for all the future has in store.

This is an original post to NYC Moms Blog. Jennifer Perillo, a consulting food editor at Working Mother magazine, finds when laughter is in short supply, a warm batch of chocolate chip cookies is pretty tasty medicine too. Get her recipe and more at In Jennie's Kitchen.