The Dental Dilemma

There are a lot of things in New York City in which parents generally expect to spend "more than the norm". Birthday parties, babysitting, shoes, are a few that come immediately to mind. But following a recent visit to the pediatric dentist, as the receptionist handed me the bill, I wondered whether they use gold in the fillings here, instead of silver. 

We took my daughter to her first dental appointment at the age of three, as recommended by her pediatrician. The dentist kept my husband waiting for an hour with no explanation or apology, took our kid into the office and counted her teeth. That was it. And then she gave him a bill for $150-dollars. Huh. Evidently, I'm in the wrong business.

Not interested in further wasting our time or money, we began looking around for another pediatric dentist. Our insurance company made a few recommendations, but they were all in Manhattan, and as we live in Brooklyn, we'd hoped to find someone closer. 

About six months later, a friend asked me if my daughter and I would like to join her and her daughter at a "dental fair" at the Brooklyn Public Library. Their family's pediatric dentist would be there, and we'd have a chance to meet a woman who is evidently the Goddess of pediatric dentistry. She must have been, after all, they were willing to spend a Sunday afternoon at a dental fair she'd put together.  Sure enough, we showed up and were treated to a program that included free floss training, a dental puppet show (who knew molars could be so funny?), and a free Dora The Explorer toothbrush and Colgate Fun-paste. No map needed, my daughter was ready to cross toothbrush bridge and climb clean mouth mountain in a flash! 

We made our first appointment with the new dentist just before my daughter turned four. Her office was nicely appointed but not pretentious. In the waiting room, there were a few of the mounted magazine covers in which she'd been mentioned within their pages under the category of "Best Of" of Pediatric Dentists. Her Harvard Dental school degree hung on the back wall. We waited for more than an hour and a half to get into the exam room. Was this a trend?

As we were shown to a room, my daughter was nervous, so I tried to reassure her. Then the Dr. entered. She spent time getting to know my daughter. She asked about my kid's nail polish (not mentioning all the chips), she asked her what she liked to do after school, and then she told her what she'd be doing during the appointment. She asked her what flavor medical glove she'd prefer-orange or bubble gum, and asked her what kind of toothpaste she'd like. She had a wonderful chair-side manner, no doubt. No fancy office with TV screens to help draw attention away from the task at hand, but by the time the appointment was finished, she'd spent more than an hour and 30 minutes with us, had counted my daughter's teeth, brushed and flossed them, taken x-rays, given her a fluoride treatment, and discovered two cavities that needed filling. That'll be $450-dollars and we'd need to return in two weeks. Ouch!  Oh, and did I mention she doesn't take insurance? Actually, I'd learned from previous research, it seems like a lot of pediatric dentists that we'd been recommended don't take insurance. 

My daughter had not liked the bright examination light, or "Mr. Thirsty" (that thing that sucks the saliva/water out) at the previous appointment, so we came armed with a few things (suggested by the dentist) when we returned. That included, sunglasses for the glare, a doll who would also be getting her teeth checked, her favorite toothpaste, and "Duckie" the security blanket.  The dentist was late once again. 

This time, as we waited in a different exam room, hanging on the wall were a number of posters. In one of them, there was our dentist, captured in a scene from Sesame Street and the Kids Weekly Reader--in which she was answering kids dental questions while examining a Muppet. In another poster, she'd been turned into a cartoon character and had appeared on the Clifford the Big Red Dog series, giving Clifford a dental exam. No wonder she was always late to our appointments--how on time can one be when you're busy examining a giant red dog? 

This appointment was rough, but the dentist was patient through all of my daughter's screaming and crying. She had great euphemisms throughout the cavity-filling experience that included putting a "tooth raincoat" onto the teeth to keep them dry, and using a "tooth towel" to clean and dry them. She let my daughter use a mirror to see some of the things she was doing in there, and finally calmed her down. It was only thirty minutes in the chair. And then we got the bill for $300-dollars. Sigh. 

Since then, my daughter has developed something of a love-hate relationship with her dentist, as have I. We've been back for another check-up, in which another cavity showed up, requiring some more work, and some more hefty bills. 

We've asked, since when do dentists fill baby teeth? We've been told that because these cavities have all appeared in her very back teeth--the ones that don't fall out until the children are ten or eleven--that it's now more the norm to fill them and make sure they aren't allowed to fester for years on end as that could lead to problems in her adult mouth. And yet, it's hard to fathom that we end up spending more on her teeth, teeth that she'll eventually lose, than we do on our adult teeth. 

But during the last visit, her dentist mentioned people have been asking when she's going to retire. And for a moment, I worried that we'd have to find another pediatric dentist, and that it would be next to impossible to find one as good as we'd found. She reassured me that she loves her work, and has no intention of retiring anytime soon. 

Sometimes my daughter asks me randomly when she's next going to have to go back to the dentist. I try to reassure her with an answer of, "Not for a while." In the words of Mason Cooley, "If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas." 

This is a NYC Moms Blog original post. Eden is still dreading and debating her daughter's next dental appointment, currently scheduled for Columbus Day.