The Truthiness of Facebook
A few days ago I received a message on Facebook from an old high school acquaintance. "You look as pretty as I remember you from [our 5th grade class]". Blushing a bit, I was impressed that he would have remembered me from so long ago. It felt so nice and out-of-my-ordinary that someone might think of me as "pretty"....most days I would take it as a compliment if someone described me as "sane", or "not homeless looking". Then my thoughts turned to my appearance at the time: makeup free, hair in a ponytail, t-shirt and "mom jean"-style khaki shorts....not to mention the spit-up and snots on said t-shirt. Of course, what my "friend" was commenting on was my profile picture: from 2 year ago: at my baby's Christening, I was wearing makeup, earrings, and a necklace...a sufficient difference that it might qualify for the witness protection program. So I got to thinking...is the way I represent myself and my life on Facebook is more "truthy" than truth?
Stephen Colbert coined the term "truthiness", which is loosely defined as truth we want to exist, even if it is not. And I've come to wonder if my Facebook "profile", by matter of omission, isn't more "truthy" than "truth". I mean, I'm intentionally not putting up bad pictures of myself. You won't see my seventh grade school picture - at least not on my profile. And my family pictures are all cute, smiling kids....no hint of tantrums, fighting, or whining. And if I'm going to be really honest, most of the time - at least one of my three kids will be fighting or whining. In this case, not so much lying as misrepresentation by omission.
If I think of Facebook as a personal/social resume of sorts, then I guess it makes sense. Certainly, I wouldn't put some of the less-than-stellar job responsibilites up front on my professional resume. That's not to say I would lie about them if asked directly, but since I've had enough "good" jobs that I can cover the page without resorting to 16 point font, it doesn't feel so wrong to leave the bad ones out. Likewise, the 20 pictures of my kids I have up on Facebook should be enough for anyone wanting to catch up on my life.
And really, if my Facebook profile were going to be more of a documentary than a comedy, it would be a lot less fun to see. Staying at home with 3 kids, I like to hop online for a quick diversion, with nothing too heavy - and I assume most people feel the same way. So, I will continue to post the "good" pictures and relay the funny stories, while keeping the darker side of life to myself. The lesson I try to instill in my 5 year old apparently applies to Facebook as well: if you don't have anything nice to say (or post), don't say anything at all.
This is an original post for NYC Moms Blog.
