NYC Moms

Tongue Tied

I'm tongue tied...and for no good reason at all.

A fellow mom in my community, actually one I consider to be a good friend, has been making egregious remarks about my blogging.  She thinks I’m wasting time and has publicly denounced this activity amongst friends.  I never know how to respond to her, despite the enormous amount of pride in what I’m doing.  She doesn’t seem to know the value of what I’m doing.

The comments are hurtful and I do wish I could open up to her about the deep abyss blogging has removed me from, about the satisfaction it’s providing, about the women I’ve met through it, about the opportunities it's presenting, about how I hope to make a difference in the world through the doors it is opening. 

But I’m tongue tied.  For one thing, it doesn't really seem like any of her business, and for another, what's the point when someone refuses to understand something you are passionate about?

Mommy "Means Girls" in The Blogosphere?

Recently a friend of mine, someone who I met as a blogging mom since becoming one myself, and who I genuinely like, was invited to an event for other mommy bloggers.  Her blog, which mostly discusses her experiences as a mom of a biracial child and other issues regarding race, and how it pertains to her personally, is very different from mine and from those of any of the moms that attended the event.  It was a huge celebration, one which I personally was unable to attend, but was a huge deal for a lot of moms "in the know".

She wasn't sure how she got on the list, she thinks it has to do with having attended another event that I invited her to, and she didn't think that as far as subjects go it would relate much to her blog.  But she wanted to go to meet other moms, and also in part to test something that she had seen in the other event she went to with me.

And that is the lack of camaraderie and warmth among popular blogging moms outside of the virtual world and inside the real one.

She told me how upon arriving to the event none of the mothers, most who knew each other from other events and from years of blogging, didn't approach her or make conversation with her.  She told me how she made every effort to approach attending moms, but if acknowledged was quickly asked questions such as if she knew so and so, if she was going to this and that upcoming event, and how she heard about the event (i.e. who invited you).

A Tale of Two Mothers

Lately you can't turn the channel or scan a newspaper without mention of Nadya Suleman, the now infamous octuplet mom. This past Sunday's New York Times style section featured an article about the backlash of raising large families. The issue most talked about in my mom circle is not  the quantity if children, but rather the quality of their mother. This is a woman whose own mother has admitted she has emotional issues that compelled her to give birth to 14 children —all through IVF. Unlike the women who struggle to conceive at all or the others who amazingly care for more than the national average of 2.1 children, Suleman is sort of a Frankenmom.

On the eve of her NBC appearance, there were calls for boycotts of the station, advertisers, etc. It didn't work. She's getting her 15-plus minutes of fame. My advice is let's turn our attention to another mom who is doing something positive with the unique ability we have as women. If you haven't seen the video making the rounds on You Tube of Salma Hayek, here's a link. I couldn't watch it without stifling a lump in my throat. I'm a nursing mama. Every time I look down at my nine-month old, suckling my breast, I can't help but feel grateful for the nutritious gift that will allow her to grow into a strong, beautiful girl. Hayek has been know for her charity work, but letting a hungry baby latch on for a healthy meal in a country where breastfeeding past the first few months is frowned upon takes "giving of oneself" to new heights.

Thank you Salma for showing the world we can use our bodies for good instead of evil.

This is an original post to NYC Moms. In between nursing her nine-month old, and writing about motherhood at The Daily Juggle, Perillo is in the kitchen testing recipes for her other blog, The Mama Chronicles. As food editor of Working Mother magazine, she also knows a thing or two about feeding the whole family.

A Million Celebrities Can't Be Wrong: VOTE!!!

I'm beginning to feel vaguely dazed and fatigued.  It's the beating my mental health is taking from incessant attention to Presidential politics.  Every night after the kids are in bed, the television is on CNN, MSNBC (who have my new fave, and Jason's schoolmate Rachel Maddow), BBCAmerica, Jon and Steven, PBS and occasionally Fox News.  My iGoogle homepage is groaning under the weight of political feeds: the XX Factor, NY Times, TPM, thinkprogress.com, 236.com, The Washington Post, Slate, Salon, Politico, and holy crap when will it end? 

I never thought this would happen, but I'm now that person who has already seen all the stuff my friends are sending in email forwards.  I've seen every interview, sketch, chart, joke and petition, it seems.  And on one hand, I really love it, but more and more, it's feeling like an ugly addiction.  There's a sort of ringing in my ears that I can't quite seem to clear.  I'm beginning to look forward to the relief of November 5th, no matter what the outcome (unless it involves hanging chads and hasty Supreme Court briefs, natch).

Who's a Public Figure Now?

One of my friends just started a new job teaching 8th grade.  Her new school's policies are strict:  no personal information on-line.  One teacher got fired for being pictured on-line drinking an alcoholic beverage.  This is a new concern for my friend, whose career has previously been with the elementary-aged crowd.  She's been blogging for years, and even if she adds a password protection to her sites now, all her previous content will still keep coming up in Google searches for her name.

It's been quite a learning curve for those of us who write anything of a personal nature on-line--often the consequences of our actions aren't apparent until after the fact.  I imagine I'm not the only one who regarded the skeptics (primarily in the older generation) as overly cautious when I started writing on-line--under my own name, no less.   More and more it seems the concerns about the long-term impact of publishing on-line may be well-founded.

The world has changed around us and within us, and the Internet has changed this, among everything else:  it's not reserved for celebrities anymore.  We are all public figures.  Even our 8th grade teachers.

Internet Withdrawal

My hard drive crashed this week, and I feel like I've been enlisted in a detox and recovery program without my consent.  If I could take it in for immediate repair I would do so, but instead we had to schedule an appointment days out with the Apple store, and it's likely that an actual repair could take even longer.

The first 24 hours were the worst.  I paced around, fueled by nervous energy.  I couldn't stop thinking about getting online.  Just for five minutes--just a little hit.  You know, long enough to tell my online communities why I'm suddenly out of reach.  I walked aimlessly through my apartment wondering, What is it that I do, exactly?  That is, when I'm not tweeting or checking and replying to email, or writing articles and blog posts.

I had no idea.