NYC Moms

Want a Home Birth? You Can’t in New York.

I was featured as a natural birth and breastfeeding advocate on Ricki Lake’s site MyBestBirth.com two weeks ago, and only because I read the MBB e-mail newsletter announcing my featured post did I learn that one of the most progressive hospitals in the city, St. Vincent’s in Manhattan, was closed, making it impossible for the home-birth midwives in New York to practice. They are obliged by state law to be approved by a hospital or obstetrician. So any expecting mom wanting to give birth at home can’t now, and the midwives either have to work illegally with their clients or are out of a job.

I'm outraged. This is New York City we are talking about! I’m outraged that I didn’t hear about this earlier, that this isn’t a bigger story. I actually gave birth to my son in a hospital -- we made it there, doula in tow, 20 minutes before he was born -- but I would want to have my baby at home the next time if we had another child. What are the New York midwives supposed to do, and more importantly, what is going to happen to the expecting moms who are close to their due dates, have been working with their midwives throughout their pregnancies, and now aren’t allowed to give birth at home?

Yes, We Co-Sleep. There, the Secret is Out.

We co-sleep. There, I said it, the secret is out. Actually, this isn’t much of a revelation to my blog readers or to anyone who knows me, but I seem to be one of the few parents who don’t have a problem with telling people that my son, now almost 3 1/2 years old, sleeps next to me every night.

Did I plan to co-sleep? Not really. I was entertaining the idea before the baby arrived; and I certainly wasn’t opposed to it. I knew there was no way I was going to put him in his own room all by himself, and we set up his beautiful crib right next to our bed. But once my son was born, that was too far away. I breastfed him on demand, and instead of having to get up every hour, I had him right next to me. He’d latch on and off we were again to dreamland, compared to other moms who have to get their baby from the nursery or warm up a bottle. I’d wake up a lot, making sure the blanket never covered him past his belly button, but I’d almost do it instinctively in a kind of semi-sleep and had pretty restful nights right from the start. My son was a very content baby, yet if I tried to put him down in his crib, he’d cry and cry. Co-sleeping was the charm.

Eat my breast milk cheese

This takes the cake – er, cracker.  A restaurant in NYC, Klee Brasserie, is serving cheese made from breast milk.  I heard about this while running on the treadmill today and watching Live with Regis and Kelly  (actually, with Andy Richter, this am, but what the hey) and caught another mention on Good Day New York. 

Now, I was not one of those new moms who felt that breastfeeding had to be hidden – unlike, say, my mother-in-law, who banished me from the table, in my own home, no less – when I started to nurse my newborn.  I meekly slunk from the table, then said, ‘wait a minute, this is my house, I make the rules.’  Plus there is nothing shameful about breastfeeding, and nurturing your child is completely natural.

The Other Boob

My son is addicted to his ba-ba — the breast milk my breasts produces for him. Now a three-year-old, he is showing no inclination to self-wean from breastfeeding. I never anticipated nursing him this long, but I have to tell you — nothing feels more right and natural to me.

But my son has become addicted to another “boob” lately — the TV. He loves watching videos of Dora, Caillou, or Barney, and episodes of “Little Bear” and “Toot and Puddle” (that’s my influence — I collected Holly Hobbie’s books long before I had a child because I love the illustrations of those two little pigs). And while that’s all innocent-enough entertainment, I worry.

Breastfeeding Helps You Get Back Into Shape!

This Thursday was a great day for breastfeeding advocates like me. The New York Times ran an article called “Breast-Feed the Baby, Skip the Dieting?” Catherine Saint Louis wrote about what has been my experience as well: breastfeeding helps moms melt those extra pounds after pregnancy — and if you are lucky, even more. I was a size 8 when I met my husband, I gained about 38 pounds while pregnant, and I have been a size 6 — or a size 4 on a very good day — since my son was about 10 months old. He just turned 3 and I am still breastfeeding him on demand. Being able to eat what I want because I am nursing my child is one of the reasons why I am in no hurry for him to self-wean!

I have mentioned on my blog, Dagmar’s momsense, that I think breastfeeding is the best diet I have ever been on. But I have also heard the opposite and wrote a blog post about this, asking other moms to chime in with their own experiences. After analyzing the responses, it seems that a lot of women are able to regain their pre-pregnancy weight while breastfeeding, yet some feel that they are holding on to extra pounds because their body thinks it has to store some extra fat to be able to produce milk in case of emergencies.

Why Spanking is Not For Me

My son is turning three in a couple of weeks, and the terrible threes have definitely descended upon us. I can’t complain, temper tantrums are rare, but lately he makes dressing him or getting him to sleep a race around and over all the furniture. I’m afraid his arm will come out of his socket, he strains to break my grip with such a might when I finally catch him.

When it was time for his nap today, I had to chase him through the whole house again. He wasn’t listening to me, and when I finally got him on his bed to change him, he kept thrashing around and then started kicking me. That was it — I had had it. I can’t claim that I “lost it,” I knew what I was doing when I grabbed one of his flailing legs and gave him a slap on his butt cheek for the first time — one. I wanted to get his attention. He stopped kicking immediately, looked at me with his large eyes, and started to cry. “Mooommy!” I told him, “Well, you just wouldn’t stop,” justifying my action. But not a second later I knew what I had done was wrong.

A Tale of Two Mothers

Lately you can't turn the channel or scan a newspaper without mention of Nadya Suleman, the now infamous octuplet mom. This past Sunday's New York Times style section featured an article about the backlash of raising large families. The issue most talked about in my mom circle is not  the quantity if children, but rather the quality of their mother. This is a woman whose own mother has admitted she has emotional issues that compelled her to give birth to 14 children —all through IVF. Unlike the women who struggle to conceive at all or the others who amazingly care for more than the national average of 2.1 children, Suleman is sort of a Frankenmom.

On the eve of her NBC appearance, there were calls for boycotts of the station, advertisers, etc. It didn't work. She's getting her 15-plus minutes of fame. My advice is let's turn our attention to another mom who is doing something positive with the unique ability we have as women. If you haven't seen the video making the rounds on You Tube of Salma Hayek, here's a link. I couldn't watch it without stifling a lump in my throat. I'm a nursing mama. Every time I look down at my nine-month old, suckling my breast, I can't help but feel grateful for the nutritious gift that will allow her to grow into a strong, beautiful girl. Hayek has been know for her charity work, but letting a hungry baby latch on for a healthy meal in a country where breastfeeding past the first few months is frowned upon takes "giving of oneself" to new heights.

Thank you Salma for showing the world we can use our bodies for good instead of evil.

This is an original post to NYC Moms. In between nursing her nine-month old, and writing about motherhood at The Daily Juggle, Perillo is in the kitchen testing recipes for her other blog, The Mama Chronicles. As food editor of Working Mother magazine, she also knows a thing or two about feeding the whole family.

OPEN THREAD: Breastfeeding - Share Your Stories

We are so excited that breastfeeding is a topic so many moms are jumping to talk about. Infact, we are even receiving emails from our readers sharing their breastfeeding stories with us. So READERS, here is your chance to share your story. This post is an open thread so feel free to share your breastfeeding experience with us by SUBMITTING A COMMENT BELOW. We would enjoy hearing from you.

My Breastfeeding Saga

When I got pregnant with my son Jack, I thought I would give breastfeeding a shot but wasn’t going to stress about it. Then I took a class on breastfeeding when I took my birth classes and got a little more serious about giving. Then I had my son and had just about every problem in the book. Everyone had told me that if I was doing it right, it shouldn’t hurt at all. Well, it hurt like crazy!! After 22 hours of labor and three hours of pushing that ended in a c-section, the most painful part of having a baby was breastfeeding for me. Every nurse I asked said I looked like I had a great latch. I saw the lactation consultant in the hospital, and she told me I had a great latch. I had a lactation consultant come to my home, and she said the latch looked fine. What the hell???

My redhead temper kicked in, and I became super stubborn. I wasn’t going to give up – I was going to figure this out! Did I mention that my son had a terrible case of colic aka acid reflux and cried all the time? I was in pain from the c-section, I got almost no sleep because Jack cried nearly every minute of a 24 hour day and nursing caused me so much pain that I cried every time he latched on – but I didn’t give up. I think it might have been the hormones, but I dug my heels in and insisted we not give a drop of formula. I ended up pumping exclusively and bottle feeding. In some ways, this was good – it really got my milk supply up. My “extras” took up nearly half our freezer. But even more problems popped up. We started with a pretty bad case of thrush. Then I got mastitis. Then I got mastitis again. Turns out that pumping for me wasn’t emptying my ducts well enough.

Of Babes and Boobs: Reflections on Breastfeeding

If you're reading this, chances are you have breasts. Or boobs. Or whatever you want to call them.  It's also pretty likely that before you had kids, you didn't think too much about breastfeeding.  Your breasts were something you admired, or maybe reviled.  You dressed them up.  Then undressed them.  They were part of your sexuality.

At least that's how it was for me.  Until I got pregnant, I really didn't give much thought to the fact that my breasts could actually serve a purpose-- feeding a baby.  So breastfeeding was a novelty, and, as I soon discovered, it wasn't all that easy.  There were leaks and aches.  Awkward bras.  Feedings at 3 a.m.  Even an occasionally bewildered husband.  But don't get me wrong.  It wasn't all bad.  There were moments of sheer bliss.  Moments when it all came together, and our son fell asleep in a milk induced stupor.

That's just a little bit of my story, and I'm sure you have one, too.  Whether you loved or hated breastfeeding, whether you did it for one day, one week, one year, or even longer, breastfeeding probably made quite an impression.  That's why we're all focusing on babes and boobs today.  Be sure to check out Silicon Valley Moms Blog, New York City Moms Blog, Chicago Moms Blog and DC Metro Moms Blog for our different takes on "the milky way." New posts will be going up on all four sites throughout the day, as we dedicate today to breastfeeding.....

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Andi Silverman is the author of the new book, Mama Knows Breast: A Beginner's Guide to Breastfeeding. She also runs the blog Mama Knows Breast and blogs at the New York City Moms Blog.