NYC Moms

Explaining the Ft. Hood Tragedy

Cross posted from our sister blog, DC Metro Moms Blog.

I grew up in a military family.  My father was a career Air Force officer, as was his father.  My brother joined the Army a few years after high school and served two tours in Bosnia before he got out.  Of course then he gave my mother a heart attach by turning around and joining the Ohio National Guard.  Thankfully, he returned from a tour in the Middle East late last year. My husband spent 20 years in the Navy - 3 on active duty and then 17 in the Navy Reserves.

I also happen to live in the Hampton Roads area of Southeast Virginia, home to one of the largest concentrations of military and veteran families in the country.  I'm actually hard pressed to think of a close friend in the area that isn't associated with the military.  

In my professional life, I'm the New Media Director for Blue Star Families, a non-partisan, non-profit dedicated to empowering and supporting military families.  My community, online and in "real" life, is the military community and my community is hurting right now.

We don't know what caused Major Nidal Hasan to open fire in a soldier readiness facility on the U.S. Army's largest facility.  I don't want to speculate.  Besides, the reason for Hasan's actions is largely irrelevant to the Ft. Hood families affected by the tragedy.  For them, and for many of us, the tragedy is incomprehensible. 

But what I do know is that military families across all of the services are stressed beyond belief.  While I no longer have to deal with the threat of activation and deployment, I've watched friend after friend try to hold things together for 6 months, a year or 18 months at a time, only to do it all over again a few months after a service member's return.  Deployment after deployment is hard on a family, particularly families with children.  And when a soldier, sailor or airman (or woman) comes home, nothing is immediately easy.  Families have to readjust, learn new routines, and all too frequently help a service member cope with injuries.  Families also deal with the unseen wounds of war such as post-traumatic stress disorder, traumatic brain injury, and even secondary PTSD, a form of post-traumatic stress disorder that can affect care givers (such as spouses, nurses and doctors) constantly dealing with the trauma of others.

Read the rest of this post at the DC Metro Moms Blog.

A Woman's Nation?

Cross posted from our sister blog, DC Metro Moms Blog.

Maria Shriver, the Center for American Progress and NBC have been having a party, of sorts, with the launch and roll-out of The Shriver Report: A Woman's Nation Changes Everything. The gist of the report is this -- now that women officially make up half of the American work force, that's bound to help things change for us in terms of work/life balance, equal pay and how we as families negotiate family and work obligations.

The report contends that things are getting easier for women because more men are willing to chip in with the housework and husbands are increasingly viewing their wives differently because of their bread-winning obligations.

We should have more power because our numbers in the workforce are rising and we're the ones who make 80% of the big ticket money decisions in our homes.  But does all that translate into real change in the workplace? 

Continue reading at DC Metro Moms Blog.

Why I Curse in Front of My Kids

..... cross posted from our sister site, DC Metro Moms Blog.

I'd like to tell you right off the bat that one of my favorite words is motherfucker. Well, that and platypus. Or, even better, platypi, which I will insist to my dying day is the plural of platypus. If I ever have an opportunity to scream, "Stop that, you motherfucking platypi!" my life will be complete. Although I don't know what circumstance exactly would lead to such a situation.

Which brings me near my point, which is that I have sworn like a sailor since I was young. I don't have any problems with curse words. I just think that you have to know when it is appropriate to use them. This being my philosophy, I've had to put some thought into how to behave around my children.

Some of you might claim that, as a rule, curse words are not appropriate to use around children. Period. I'm not so sure. I don't necessarily try to use these words in front of them, but I don't think it bothers me or them to hear them every once in a while.

CLICK HERE to continue reading on DC Metro Moms Blog..........

My Life Hacks for 2009

....cross posted from our sister site, DC Metro Moms Blog.

I don't believe in New Years resolutions, but I do believe in life hacks, those things I set out to accomplish that will improve my outlook. This year I have chosen three life hacks that I hope will help me in a several other areas, like getting a buy-one-get-one deal.

My first hack is to teach my children how to let Mommy have healthy time, whether it's yoga, rowing, walking, or bicycling. I'm sure I'm not the only mom in the world with children who are demanding of my time and attention, even after we've put them to bed, and most days I feel like it's a struggle to get healthy time for myself without a zillion interruptions. So this year I want to think of productive ways to keep them interested and occupied instead of wrestling each other or raiding the refrigerator while I do some healthy activities, and of course include them when possible and appropriate.

CLICK HERE to continue reading on DC Metro Moms Blog.....

Governor Palin? Knock, Knock. Who's There? MomsRising.

....cross posted from our sister site, DC Metro Moms Blog.

Yesterday, I joined MomsRising's co-founder and Executive Director Kristin Rowe-Finkbeiner and 13 other moms to hand deliver a letter to Governor Sarah Palin's state office in The DC.  The letter had been signed by over 21,000 mothers and others.  None of this was supposed to take much time, I mean how complicated could it be go into an office building, take the elevator up to the third floor and drop off a box on someone's desk?  Quick In n Out then off to grab a bite to eat. Yes?

NO! Here's how it actually went down.  I arrived at the appointed time just as the local ABC News , Channel 7,was wrapping up an interview with Kristin. More moms arrived. We posed for a group photo  Kristin asked us to walk into the building where, she had been instructed, we would all be required to sign in at the lobby desk.  Again, nothing unexpected.  With the exception of the security guard who was less than thrilled to have 15 women in her lobby. Yes, she actually referred to it as her own lobby. Lobby ownership aside, we were told to wait for the news crew to return from upstairs.  Which we did.

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The Business Plan of Happiness

... cross posted from our sister site, DC Metro Moms Blog.

I've never been one for timing.

I graduated from college in the tech boom of the late '90s and immediately started to work my tail off in the San Francisco Bay Area...for peanuts as a federal government employee. I watched my fellow sorority sisters and classmates secure jobs at Cisco and Intel and startups. As they became worth millions "on paper" and rose to Internet stardom and power, I plugged away writing press advisories and attending town hall meetings and helping constiuents, with a second job in the evenings at a store. I was happy and fulfilled...and poor.

Click HERE to continue reading at DC Metro Moms Blog.

Welcome to the World, Baby Blackberry!

... cross posted from our sister site, DC Metro Moms Blog.

I'm now officially a mother of four. I know, I know, I've totally overpopulated this world. Blame it on my innate sense of American consumerism and need for consumption. But I had to have a fourth.

But I didn't realize how much I wanted her until she came into my life just a little over twenty-seven hours ago, and one day ahead of schedule. I'm already madly in love with her. She's so tiny, weighing just shy of four ounces. Her little digits are a scrumptious sight. How did I survive all of these years without her? Why didn't anyone tell me how much I'd come to need her. Well, I guess maybe a few of you mentioned it.

Click HERE to continue reading at DC Metro Moms Blog.

Road Trips Down Memory Lane

... cross posted from our sister site, DC Metro Moms Blog.
In the spirit of road trips....

I just completed the second leg of a road trip with my three children. Me, Myself, and I and the three babies in the minivan traveling "back home" to visit family sprinkled around various New England points. I didn't plan the solo excursion, it just happened. The night before I was scheduled to return to DC, I decided it would be fun to "surprise" extended family with unannounced arrivals. I was in need of some spontaneous adventure. Maybe even reassurance that SAHM doesn't stand for Stuck at Home Mom. Good thing my family doesn't take issue with drop-ins.

Our surprise visits were well received. Grandparents were over the moon to see the grandchildren. They didn't seem to take it personally that my youngest wanted absolutely nothing to do with them--a.k.a separation anxiety. They also didn't seem to mind that my little guy nearly ate them out of their homes or that my oldest child didn't hold back when she was bored--I'm so bored, Mom, can we go now?

But the biggest surprise was on me and would come at the end of our visits.
Click HERE to continue reading at DC Metro Moms Blog.

Read at Your Own Risk

... cross posted from sister site, DC Moms Blog.

Many bloggers are introspective. We tend to write about our inner lives, as well as our corporeal lives. One day we'll share a funny poo anecdote, the next day our favorite shoes, a blurb about infertility, and wrap up the week with something about our childhood or a relationship with an old boyfriend. There are those who prefer to forget the past, to pretend it never happened. While I live far more in the moment than in my past, I subscribe to the belief that an unexamined life isn't much worth living.

What happens when the examination of your own life intersects with the privacy of another?

Admit it, most of us have written about people from our past in a way that makes us fervently hope they will never locate our blogs. Some of us blog anonymously to prevent that from happening. Some of us don't care and just let it all hang out. Some of us straddle the line in between, only letting friends or those we think are friendly, know where our innermost thoughts can be found on the Internet.

Click HERE to continue reading at DC Moms Blog.

Day One - I feel like a statistic

....cross posted from our sister site, DC Metro Moms Blog.

The front door opened. Startled I looked up to find my husband coming home from work early yesterday.  I was about to take a work related phone call so I just briefly asked him what was up. He perched himself on the edge of the kitchen counter and said, "It's done.  Over.  I got laid off."

Immediately, I had to grip the counter myself and keep from feeling as if my brain was doing a fade to black sort of thing.  If there wasn't already a baby growing inside me it would have felt as if my stomach was being kicked in. Pummeled.  I hear the words being calmly stated, "Two weeks severance...one month of insurance...", and my mind just reels.  How are we going to survive?  I feel like one of those brief profiles you read about in a story on the current toll of the U.S. economy being featured in Newsweek.

Click HERE to continue reading on DC Metro Moms Blog......