NYC Moms

Mommy, You Are So Disorganized

 When my daughter was an infant/toddler, I was your typical Type-A mom. I had multiple bags neatly filled with wipes, Kleenex, Neosporin and band-aids, just so I would not run out and be left hanging if some boo-boo popped up.  And I used to fill in supplies every two weeks, that's how anal-retentive I was. 

Now that my daughter is seven, my helicopter mom days are over and I have retired to the benches, reading my paper, checking emails and talking to the other moms, all those activities I used to look on with envy in the early years.  Don't worry,  I would look up every few minutes just to make sure my daughter was doing okay, but I certainly did not run after her the way I used to. 

So when my helicopter mom days ended, I stopped carrying my first-aid bags around and winged it.  

Makeover Intervention Needed NOW

After I was laid off last year and given the rather sad job market, I decided to start a blog to enhance my social media skills which was a gap on my resume. Who knew, I would end up enjoying writing about my crazy life raising my daughter as a single mom in New York City, or best of all, get invited to cool events where I met other great mom (and dad) bloggers while I job searched. 

Of course, looking on the positive side to being unemployed, I was able to spend more time with my daughter. I love being able to drop her off at school without having to rush off to work and not having to juggle the gazillion babysitters for pick up so I could work late. And of course, I now have the time to work on getting healthier by going to the gym. 

The flip side to all this is that writing and job searching is a solitary experience. Since I am not married or have a significant person in my life, it's just my daughter and me. And because I don't have to go to the office in business attire, my wardrobe consists of sweat pants, a white t-shirt, sneakers and no make-up, not even lipstick. 

An Urban Green Thumb

My family and I are squeezing into a one-bedroom apartment with a “nook” for our children.  Their cribs are so close together that I have to turn sideways to walk between the two.  Even my daughter is beginning to be too wide to fit into that small space.  Some parents have bought crib tents for their children to prevent them from climbing out of the crib.  My kids would only be able to climb into another crib with their sibling.  Not so appealing. My family continues to ask me what and when our next move will be.  

One of the major selling points when I purchased the apartment was the outdoor space, a real anomaly in Manhattan.  In the beginning we used the space mainly as a bathroom for our dog.  I was not ready to walk him with a newborn every time he needed to go out so I opened the door. 

Despite buying patio furniture, a BBQ, and a little plastic slide, my family and I rarely used the backyard.  It showed off great to guests, especially with the white Christmas tree lights around the back door, but… for six months the neighbor’s construction made our space a dusty and noisy.  And I’m a creature of habit.  I’d go outside and be disappointed that our plants had not survived, or the upstairs neighbors dropped their cigarette butts, or the dog chewed the corner of the chaise.

Year End Blues

  June is nearly here.  The weather has gotten hot and the school calendar is FULL.  Things are about to be busy, busy busy as they always are at this time of year.  With kids in school June always feels slightly like a heady roll down a very steep hill to me.  It seems like it will be great fun when you lie down at the top of the hill but as you pick up speed you begin to realize that you've lost any semblance of control and the hill is really running the show.

This year our June is jammed with field trips and class plays, dance performances, publishing parties and potlucks as well as two half days off sandwiched between the mysterious "Chancellor's Day" a full day off in the middle of the week.  To top it off my daughter is graduating from fifth grade and moving on to middle school.  So that adds a ceremony and a party to the calendar.  She also has designs on organizing a sleepover.  Put it all together and I find myself caught somewhere between "When will summer be here?" (which is usually what I spend June thinking) and "Wait! Wait! I'm not ready!!" 

So while I'll be packing lunches for field trips and pulling costumes together for performances and signing up for potluck food, taking photos and shooting video of all these moments the whole thing will be laced with a certain bittersweet awareness that life is again moving forward as it does with children.  They grow, they learn, they develop and change just as they should.  It always seems to happen just slightly before I'm ready for it.  

Sheep Shearing and Sweatpants

About a week ago the power went out in our house after a tree fell over on all the power and phone lines up the street. We didn’t get it back until three days later. Since we weren’t prepared –- we had a few flashlights and a radio with a light that only works if you crank it by hand -- this meant packing a few necessary things, an adventurous walk over a condemned bridge with our little son, and sleeping at Grandma’s house.

It mean spending Mother’s Day and seeing the sheep shearing I still insisted on going to in sweatpants. Gulp. I’m not exactly the sweatpants-wearing-kind-of gal. And it meant not tweeting or blogging. Double gulp. You see, I’m kind of addicted to Twitter and WordPress.

Staying Active

My father had a fatal heart attack when I was 15, and my siblings and I have always tried to be fit and active, to counteract our family history. His four brothers and both parents all died young of heart attacks, too.

So it is a huge deal to my family that the American Heart Association has a new alliance with Nintendo, and pus its logo on Wii Fit Plus and Wii Sports Resorts games.

Sedentary Americans (sadly, most of us) may be surprised how challenging these games can be.  Wii Fit, of course, makes no bones about the fitness component, but my kids really like the competitive aspect, running an obstacle course, or tracking the amount of time, and calories burned.

In the Sports Resort, you can bowl, bicycle, canoe, wake board – all of which combine aerobics with core strength.

Family music

When my children were younger, we were often subjected to the same music, over and over. Hallie had an unhealthy relationship with Barney and Sela had an unfortunate attachment to a Madeleine audiotape (with horrendous intro music). But my older girls are of a generation that actually HAD cassette tapes, and part of the beauty of them was that they eventually wore out.  Just when we couldn’t take it anymore, the tape would break and we won a reprieve.

Nora was in love with a tape from her Music Together class. Shortly after she started the class, teachers started handing out CDs, but we had the tape. She cried for it every time we were in the car, and the other girls were so repulsed by it that we ‘accidentally’ ripped the tape.

With CDs, you are stuck. If your child wants to listen to the soundtrack from Hannah Montana over and over, an indestructible CD means you are stuck.

Number 3

For the first five years of his life my son was the center of my world.  He was the center of his father's world.  He was the center of my parents' world, and my brother's world.  Anything he wanted, he got.  He was our only child, he was the first grandchild for my parents and the youngest for my in-laws.  Needless to say, he was spoiled beyond all belief.

And then his little sister came along.  And then, a year later, his little cousin came along.  And Big Boy suddenly became #3.  And suddenly Big Boy wasn't getting the attention like he was before the babies came.  Suddenly I was getting mad at him for being "unreasonable and demanding". Well, what do you expect from a seven year old who had been so rapidly dethroned by not one, but two little people who drool, and cry and poop in their pants all within the span of two years?  Suddenly I would find myself treating him more like he were 17 instead of 7, expecting him to understand why I needed to spend so much time with his sister. 

Multi-tasking and Exercise

As a mother of three, I am a big fan of multitasking. If I want to watch television, I have to make the bed, fold laundry, answer email. If brownies are needed for the bake sale, I throw in another pan with potatoes, onions and carrots and we have roasted vegetables for another night.

So I was excited by Shatobu “the workout that you wear.” The idea behind this shapewear is that resistance bands tone muscles while you go about your day –you SHApe, TOne and BUrn. If your day consists of sitting on the couch and eating Godiva, you’re not going to look like Iman, but if you move around a moderate amount, in theory you burn 12% more calories.

A Rose Bought By Another Mom Smells Just as Sweet

For me, Mother's Day is a non-event. I'm not big on cards, or hugs and kisses that are calendar-driven.  I don't need chocolate and I get pedicures and massages throughout the year.  But today, my son came home from an early morning baseball game with a rose for me and it touched me.  Because one of the other players' mother bought roses for the children to give to their mothers.  And in the age where mothers are busy tearing down each other's choices, whether it's breastfeeding vs. formula, stay at home vs. working out of the home, or whatever the rage du jour is, this was awesome.